Mike watches the women's World Cup, is won over by Japan

I spent a lazy Sunday nursing a hangover and a bloody mary watching what I thought would be a great way to catch a midday nap by turning on the 6th FIFA Women's World Cup final match between the USofA vs. Japan.  As I watched, something entirely weird happened....I started to get really excited. 

Now, I will say I was completely riding the bandwagon at this point.  I had not watched one minute of the tournament and only caught snippets of news coverage regarding a couple of improbable elimination games leading us to the finals.  Likewise, I had no idea what business, if any, the Japanese had in the finals but felt that the US were the favorites and I might be about to watch a little history in the making.  Boy, was I right.  As the game unfolded I began to realize the following things:

1)  Whatever you want to say about the sport of soccer, no commericals kicks a**.  What a great way to present a game.

2)  Women's soccer may be the only sport played better by women than men.  This is not sexist...it's science (see WNBA, or baseball).  However, if this game was an example of how this sport is played by the fairer sex (which one would think it was considering it was the final match of the most prestigous tournament) I might actually start following soccer.  I didn't see one example of my biggest problem with men's soccer.  I'm talking about the age old of tradition of the flop, which would be the most frustrating aspect of sports except that its soccer.  Examples:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8W00d3yJKl4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RiBXMPkYfXI
Collection of 2010's

Come on, are you men or are you.....strike that, this is soccer afterall.

I cannot and will not claim to be any kind of expert on the matter but this seems pretty easy to fix, and I'm really targeting those instances where the culprit writhes in "pain" on the ground.  Treat it like football, American style.  If you're hurt you sit out five minutes or so.....see how many starters continue to bow to gravity like my erection upon seeing old photos of my mother's stripping days.  But I digress, let's get back to observations.

3)  Finally, Hope Solo is sexy.




You're my only Hope

Almost from the outset I got sucked into this game.  Edge of my seat, mary in hand, cheering and cringing as the US took shot after shot without being able to find the back of the net.  At the end of the first half I was one of the biggest women's soccer fans in my living room.

The 2nd half started and Japan looked ready to play.  They began showing signs of life and it looked like what was once a one sided display of offense (albeit unlucky) was going to turn into a real contest.  Then, at around the 69th minute, substitue Alex Morgan scored USA's first goal after recieving a beautiful feed from boygirl Megan Rapinoe.  This goal provided 2 things, first the much needed icebreaker to get the Americans out in front.  Secondly, it was the world debut of Jeff Cohen's son:

Before you go to the World Cup you have to do the Truffle Shuffle

It wasn't long though until the Japanese tied the game up at 1 adding the kind of drama needed at these types of events.  It was around this time (things began to run together much like the cocktails) that something interesting happened.  Someone, one of the announcers (I don't know who they were except that one of them might have taken their shirt off during a previous cup) mentioned that Morgan's daddy offered to by her a Lexus if she scored x number of goals during high school.  It was at this moment I felt my first tinge of disenfranchisement from the USA team.  WTF!?  On one hand you have the back story of the Japanese team who battled through exhibitions, qualifiers, and the tourny itself in the wake of a major national disaster, on the other you have rich white girls having luxury vehicles bought for them....geez, there's a moral battle.

Alex Morgan scored in the 69th minute....hee hee hee

As the rest of the game progressed I couldn't stop thinking about this.  I drove an 86 Lebaron in high school, ok maybe it was an 88, either way I realized that despite I am an American and wouldn't be opposed to throwing one into a couple of the players I might not actually like them.  Suddenly I found myself rooting for the Japanese.  I don't think this is totally unpatriotic since as they say, Americans love an underdog.  Between the choking at the beginning of the game (I'm referring to USA's offense, not my #3 observation), Morgan's daddy, and the circumstances of the Japanese's finals appearance I literally was cheering for Japan by the time the PK's started.

Once Japan sealed it, I sat on my sofa with an empty pbr (after 6 bloodies daddy needs a beer) thinking that I never would have guessed that I would have come into a game ready to take a nap root for my country, only to have a Rocky IVish revelation, which I will leave with you all....

If I can change, and you can change, everybody can change.